For my son, Nick, and all the other kids out there who dread the start of school....
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The witches mumble horrid chants,
You're scolded by five thousand aunts,
A Martian pulls a fearsome face
And hurls you into Outer Space,
You're tied in front of whistling trains,
A tomahawk has sliced your brains,
The tigers snarl, the giants roar,
You're sat on by a dinosaur.
In vain you're shouting 'Help!' and 'Stop!',
The walls are spinning like a top,
The earth is melting in the sun,
And all the horror's just begun.
And, oh, the screams, the thumping hearts
That awful night before school starts.