I'm an eternal optometrist.
Instead of: I'm an eternal optimist.
For all intensive porpoises, this is a silly sentence.
Instead of: For all intents and purposes,
this is a silly sentence.
I resemble that remark!
Instead of: I resent that remark!
Don't take me for granite.
Instead of: Don't take me for granted.
Have you ever heard or said a malapropism that made you laugh? I'd love for you to share it here!