Malapropism

The word for this week is malapropism [mal-uh-prop-iz-uh m]. According to Your Dictionary, the word is a noun meaning "the act of using an incorrect word in place of one that is similar in pronunciation". These mistakes often result in amusing sentences, like the following:

I'm an eternal optometrist.

Instead of: I'm an eternal optimist.

For all intensive porpoises, this is a silly sentence.

Instead of: For all intents and purposes, 

this is a silly sentence.

I resemble that remark!

Instead of: I resent that remark!

Don't take me for granite.

Instead of: Don't take me for granted.

Have you ever heard or said a malapropism that made you laugh? I'd love for you to share it here!